This was a difficult concept for me because in my past someone’s win DID feel like my loss.
Seeing everyone else’s name on the callback board after dance auditions in college and frantically scanning and not finding my name on the list filled my stomach with dread and embarrassment. It was hard to accept that other dancers didn’t take away from my hard work. They won fair and square.
In grad school, in my career, and on social media, I have had the opportunity to watch so many people flourish. There is plenty of room for ALL of us to grow. And even more so, to support one another!!! Maybe it does feel like a dance audition sometimes because some people make it and some people don’t. But at the end, it is our work and effort that gets us to where we want to be. We have to acknowledge that other people may be seen as competitors- but ultimately, we must support each other.
The more we support one another, the more we lift each other up and there seems to be the spiraling upwards effect that comes with it. When there’s more room for gratitude and encouragement, there’s less room for jealousy.
but I get it, it can be hard because it can feel like when someone else is growing you are shrinking. Step outside of that perspective and instead challenge yourself to think about supporting them. You want to support people the way that you want to be supported- it comes full circle! ⭕️
do you get jealous of other people’s success?? Also, tag a friend below that you support whole heartedly. It could be an IG or IRL friend😊 - Erika
4 days ago
🏥WORK LIFE BALANCE💖
So many people say they struggle finding balance between work and life. It’s tough to juggle work, getting/staying in shape, keeping up a home, being social, making time for you, getting oil changes, grocery shopping, making your significant other feel important, cooking healthy meals, remembering to cal your mom back, I could go on.....
And here is the truth.... no one has this all figured out and does everything perfectly. And you can’t excel at everything! Trying to excel and be perfect in every area will exhaust and drain you.
But you absolutely can make things work! You can be fit, social, and excel in a career. You’re not going to be perfect but life is a learning journey! Try to enjoy the process.
A few things that help me to stay balanced & organized:
1️⃣I remember that I work to live not live to work. Now I will always be a go getter and work hard in my career. But I will never prioritize work over family or many other things. Work hard but don’t work your entire life away.
2️⃣I make date night with Tyler a weekly thing! We rarely ever miss it and i look forward to this time each week.
3️⃣I use an old school planner where I write everything down. This helps me stay organized and focused.
4️⃣I create gym and nutrition plans that are accommodating to my long work shifts and inconsistent schedule. I set myself up for success!
5️⃣I’m picky about my friends. This helps me because the people I do spend time with energize and motivate me not drain me. I can’t tell you how much of a difference this makes!
6️⃣I work hard!!! So much time “working” is half distracted not truly getting much done time for many people. If you’re working, focus and get stuff done! Put focused hours into work and chores or whatever it is so then you can have a few hours for whatever it is you want to do!
7️⃣I get help. We have house cleaners and landscapers and I’m not ashamed to tell you guys that. If you’re overwhelmed doing too much, get a little help so you can put time into the other things that you need to! Its more than ok to hire help or ask family or friends for things sometimes!
2 days ago
Modern Farmhouse Perfection 👏👏 overscale and unexpected Wingback chairs paired with a custom coffee table we designed for our amazing niece Eva @evashockey In a custom finish she selected and @simplyamishfurniture Craftsman built by hand all equals true custom furniture design. Passion is how you turn a house into a home 💗
Highlighting these words from the stunning genius @erinskyekelly, who just did a post in response to the question, "How do you know when it's time to leave a relationship?" (GO READ THE WHOLE POST IT'S REAL REAL GOOD. 👀👌🏻)
I want to quickly expand on this, because it can apply to just about anything -- a job, your home environment, the city you live in, the damn clothes in your closet 🙈...sometimes we just outgrow places, people, and things. And it can be heartbreaking.
There is so much to be said for sticking around when the going gets tough, and learning how to really give something your all. To not just duck out as soon as things feel hard, or you are being asked to expand in some way. (And often, when we do duck out too early? We’ll just encounter the same problems elsewhere -- haven't you noticed this?)
Grit is a GIFT. 🙌🏻 Pushing yourself and working through tough stuff is IMPORTANT.👏🏻
But there's just as much to be said for getting up and going when your all and your all and your ALL isn't making a smidge of difference. 😔
When you keep trying new ways to push the boulder up the hill, and no matter what happens, it continues to flatten you.
If it feels like you keep trying, pushing, adjusting, effort-ing, and your needs continue to go un-met, and you’re exhausted and on the brink of “over it” 24/7, that can be a strong indicator that you will in fact be better off elsewhere. That there will be other containers that can serve as a better fit for you. Bigger. More spacious. More aligned and allowing. ✨✨
(And, um — if your partner is the boulder? Good lord honey, love him or her enough to just let them roll their own way.)
3 days ago
It’s better to be happy alone than unhappy with someone!!
The sun ☀️ is alone too, and still shining ✨
2 days ago
We are moving in the right direction but we are still far from the finishing line. The EU scores 67.4 for gender equality, one point up since 2017. 🇸🇪 Sweden and 🇩🇰 Denmark continue to top the EU scoreboard, while 🇬🇷 Greece and 🇭🇺 Hungary have the most ground to make up.
Gender inequality is holding Europe back from reaching its full potential. Our Work-Life Balance rules adopted this year will support more equal sharing of caring responsibilities, allowing women to stay on the labour market and take on challenging roles or management positions.
🔎 Data based on ‘Gender Equality Index 2019’, European Institute for Gender Equality (EIGE).
2 days ago
Happy Mind. Happy Life. ✨ ausschlafen. in aller Ruhe einen Kaffee trinken. Sport. Haushalt erledigen. Papierkram abarbeiten. Rechnungen schreiben. Lunchdate. & ohne Stress zum Spätdienst in den Kreißsaal. Genau SO habe ich mir all das immer vorgestellt! 🙌🏼 & ich sag's euch, der Job macht einfach sooo viel aus & erst jetzt [ besser spät als nie ] wird einem bewusst, unter welchen Umständen man lange Zeit gearbeitet habe, immer mit einem Bein im Knast & dem unterbewussten Irrglauben, dass das alles so ‘normal' sei! ✖️ habt einen schönen Dienstag 💋 xx [ #midwifelife#hebammerei#worklifebalance ]
4 days ago
The ultimate in work-life balance. What do you do when hubby is doing a wet lab course at the exact same time as you're supposed to be speaking on a panel at the Academy meeting? And, you can't find a sitter? Why, take the kids to the meeting of course!
Actually, the kids had a blast! They hung out in the Young Ophthalmologist lounge, then sat in the back of the room and listened really well, while I was on stage. Arya was pretty entranced by @dr.andreatooley surgical video. Her summary? "A little gross, but kind of cool."
Everyone was so nice and they met all of mama's friends - their favorite is probably @Janicelawmd who gave them HiChews. And, come on, the exhibit hall is basically geared towards kids - petting zoo? Ice cream? Candy at every booth? Pinball machine and VR? Of course they loved it!
Hubby and I make it work. It's not always easy. Or seamless. But, it works for us. And, I love that my kids got to see so many AMAZING women up there today, like @sbedrood @_moda_md, Dr. Jane Edmond, and the program chair @janicelawmd .
This craziness - it's 100% worth it. Sure, at 8 am, as I was trying to hustle my kids out of the hotel room by myself, to get to the convention center, I might have said differently. But, this experience is one I hope will remain with them.
And I hope the residents and fellows who attended the panel, and saw my kids there - I hope it resonated with you that it doesn't have to be an either/or situation between family and professional development. You can have both.
The first issue of my new weekly newsletter, #reportsfromthefield, comes out tomorrow!
Would you like it to find your inbox? Sign up using the link in my bio.
In each issue I’ll share a poem, some news and musings, and a dose of hope. Milo is a featured contributor as well, and will be sharing his wisdom on #hyggelife#selfcare and #worklifebalance.
Sending you all love through the field. See you in the morning!
"All of our team members have the opportunity to work remotely and we offer very flexible working hours too. As a heavily female dominated industry, we realise it is crucial to offer flexibility and also because our population continues to spread out so we don’t want our team stressing about long journeys to work."⠀
@mish_palmer // Co-Founder+Director @Modern.Currency⠀
Missed a lab meeting
Missed a class that would explain about literature reviews.
Missed a class on python.
Missed a day of lab work, when I should be accumulating data for my committee and proposal meeting.
My daughter fell face down in a grocery store sustaining injuries on her gums, tongue and several stitches on her chin.
Took the day off. My mind wandered to thoughts like:
Why can’t my spouse take a day off and take care of sick kids? .
Why is it that we moms take off?
Is it the judgement, we do on ourselves thinking that we are best at taking care of sick kids and can’t rely on dads?
We don’t want a messy home when we come back from work?😂
We think spouse job is more important than your own?🤯
Do we think we save our spouse from saying an excuse to their boss? So that they don’t look incompetent?
Also we do promote stigmas like:
Don’t email personal stuff explaining your situation?
Don’t talk about your kids at workplace?
Don’t talk “my kids did that or this” as it may mark us as boring?
What do I do??!!
I do email to my boss. But once, when he gave me a piece of his mind about Phd being hard work, I sent an email with gross image of pus oozing out from my daughters ears. Gross yeah! But he better know what sh*t i am in too.
I openly talk about my kids. I am adventurous too. But having kids does not destroy my identity. You have to help ignorant people overcome this ridiculous thoughts.
I have taken my kids to classes which I TA. They sat at the back with their coloring books.
I am planning to take my girl for a benchmarking session as I don’t have the time to drop-off after paediatrician appointment.
Go ahead moms!
Walk with that belly proud and give conferences, give classes.
Walk with your kids head held high with pride.
Talk to people about kids just as they talk about their pets and vacation trips.
Fight any condescending attitude and make sure they know ‘mom’ attitude too.
You have no clue how strong and amazing you are to do this!
You are extraordinary to manage a home and study/work.
BUT do so by carrying the clan around with you. Show them the real LIFE!
Yes ONE word can change our entire thinking!
Check out these simple statements and see how one word can make such a huge difference:
I can’t do it➡️I can’t do it YET!
I haven’t lost all the weight➡️I I haven’t lost all the weight YET!
The laundry isn’t done➡️The laundry isn’t done YET!
I’m not ok➡️I’m not ok YET!
My marriage isn’t getting better➡️My marriage isn’t getting better YET!
I’m not healed from this grief➡️I’m not healed from this grief YET!
I’m not successful➡️I’m not successful YET! .
See that difference! Isn’t it exciting!! Change begins with your mindset! Whether you are trying to change your body, or your job, or your finances, or your relationships, or your life, it takes time! Don’t get discouraged and give up! .
Remember that it all begins with the belief that change is possible, even if it hasn’t happened YET! .
So keep showing up every day, giving your all and know that anything is possible when we shift our mind and believe!