Go “no contact” and create the best life ever without them. And if u have no choice but to somewhat deal with them because of children or something else. Practice emotional disengagement and the grey rock method. Those are the only 2 known ways to best deal with them. Letting them know you know they are narcissists only ends up hurting you.
It doesn't matter if you are "perfect" - beautiful as top model, well educated as Nobel prize winner, successful at work, warm hearted, sexy, with tones of famous friends, caring, loving, just perfect. It doesn't matter if you give your narcissist lots of grade A fuel. IT DOESN'T MATTER. YOU WILL BE DEVALUED NO MATTER WHAT.
Well, remember the narcissist is a narcissist because deep down he/she feels inferior. And as a coping mechanism he/she puts on the mask of perfection. It's their grandiosity that goes with their disorder hand in hand - to think that everybody in the whole world is inferior and he is indeed perfect. During seduction all they do is looking for confirmation that yes, they are superior to others, that they can seduce just anybody, that everybody admires them. So they look for attractive people who will confirm their grandiosity - conpliments and attention from attractive people are more potent "if such great person loves me, I must be perfect!" - they think.
You may think this would be a reason for them to keep this perfect partner forever. Not at all. Here are some scenerios that usually happens at that point:
1. The honey moon period ends in every relationship. You become more comfortable in each others company, there are no butterflies anymore. It is normal. But for narcissist it is a tragedy. They think that if you were inndead perfect, it would last forever. Remember in their mind they are perfect so if the honey moon period ends they blame you- they were all mistaken, you are not perfect. You get devalued.
2. You criticise them. You disagree with them. You have other plans. You have different opinion. In a healthy relationship it is normal. In narcissistic relationship this is again a tragedy. It hurts their ego, it reminds them they are not perfect, again they start feeling inferior so they must blame you. "If she disagrees one of us must be stupid and it is not me because I am perfect. She is just stupid." And the devaluation starts.
No matter who you are. You will always be devalued. Relationships with disordered people always go the same pettern.
G I R L P O W E R........... Today is a good day.Yesterday brought a new baby into the world, a world that at the start of the year looked pretty shitty to be honest. I'm surprised by just how emotional I feel about this baby, as its my ex-husband's, ex-fiance (before me's) baby! They had a daughter together who is my beautiful step girl and Poppy's adored big sister Millie. (Can you keep up?!?) Both me and Millie's mum have lived through varying levels of hell and come out with similar stories, similar memories, similar scars and a shared respect and genuine like of each other. We work together to ensure our daughters keep the beautiful relationship they built over 8 years together.
And now, she's a mummy again, to another little girl. A new addition to the girl gang who will no doubt be as kind, fierce, funny, loving and deep down beautiful as her big sister Millie. My girl is claiming big sister rights, which is slightly tricky to explain, but at the end of the day, who cares what the official relationship title is?! Love is love and we can never have enough of that in our lives.
This baby is a reminder that truly good things do happen to cancel out the destructiveness of others and these three girls will, without doubt, be raised as strong woman, because their Mumma's are, without doubt, strong woman!
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