Celebrating 100 episodes the right way. Modern Manhood Live with special guests Kino Lefter. Talking Magic Mike.
Talking gender, class, sex work, and masculinity with some of your favorite friends.
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“To be a man —
to be faithful to your family and provide for them. To take care of the things around the house. —
handy ???, car ???
Not a liar or a cheater — that’s a boy”
For years it bugged me, thinking that I had to please everyone. I said YES when I wanted to say NO.
And, by saying YES, a long list of work followed to create the result.
...which meant that I was spending hours and hours away from my family, working on something that I didn’t want in the first place!
Do you ever find yourself in this place?
This is one reason, among many, that lead me to build this company so that you guys will have a path to the life you want. We have BIG PLANS coming soon.
someone said "hati hati sama vania, mainnya di mall mulu. biasanya yg kaya gitu gold digger tuh"
bro i'm so sorry you can't keep up with my lifestyle. gue kerja dan gue bayar lifestyle gue sendiri. masculinity lu fragile banget apa sampe terinitimidasi sama gaya hidup gue?
Loving this life and living my truth🤙🏼
It has taken quite a bit of effort, sacrifice, and discomfort to understand that my living my individuality would ultimately equal living my truth. I no longer seek validation from other people because I recognize my self-worth, I’ve set boundaries, and I am teaching from a vulnerable, unselfish, and a wildly grounded space on and off my mat.
This is my practice. This is my teaching. This is my yoga.
Here are my new workshops and series classes. So exited to share these. ✨
The Empowered Masculine - March 7th-2:30p
Yoga For Beginners - (4 weeks)
The Empowered Man - March 28th-2p
Much love and gratitude to you life warriors loving your truth and stepping in to you. 💛⚡️🤙🏼
📸 : @lindleybattlephotography ✨
This is definitely one for the language-nerds.
In short, "hero" comes from "hōra," the root from which we get "hour," and strong associations with Hera, the Goddess of seasons and timing.
The hero himself is defined by his untimeliness, which is not an existential problem, but a social one: his "untimeliness" is being out of step with the norms and values of his world. He seems "born at the wrong time." But it not him, but his world that is at fault, and this fault brings on the divine retributive force of Nemesis against his society.
In fighting with this Nemean force, he lives a story that is interesting and beautiful and which not only fends off the threat (maybe), but which inspires emulation, thus bringing the proportionality and justice back to his society which was lacking before.
In restoring this proportionality and seasonality, and in death, the hero metaphorically and literally makes the plants grow.
Full explanation is on the blog at Caffeine and Philosophy.
The danger, of course, is that everyone who deviates from society because they're a rebel thinks they might be a hero. In reality, they are usually the unbalanced and unseasonal ones, not the other way around.
Dunno about that. Michael Flood is actually a really decent bloke who is really interested in providing information on how men can live better lives unburdened of toxic masculinity and have better relationships with women and their children.
We have the unique opportunity to train our kids to be adults. We have the privilege of teaching them about the beauties of the world. We will always be one of the greatest influencers in their lives.
Too often we’re told that to enjoy ourselves we need someone to watch our kids. While fun outings may be easier with them, they are not necessarily better. Our kids want to be with us. They want to participate in the things we enjoy.
Fathers, share your adventures with your children. This could be as easy as teaching them about your favorite sport or sharing your favorite memories. This could be a trip to the grocery store. This could be exploring the world with them.
Letting our kids know we want them to hang with us makes all the difference.
10 hours ago
“Being able to provide for family/friends”
2 hours ago
REAL MEN DON'T CRY, and are able to be strong and centered - not to be carried away by emotions, unlike women - who can to be emotional and sometimes dramatic here and there. Being in control of yourself - is masculine. Being carried away by feelings - is feminine.
This is the image, that I and other men carried out for ourselves from the early age, from the mass-culture and our own fathers!
Then men are ready to provide what is expected - so at some point "we get to hold ourselves", take our feelings in check and delegate the control to the left side of the brain. We become masculine and in control.
While on the one side this SUPPRESSION leads to the lack of feeling, dryness, disconnection from environment and ignorance of the man, the other side of the same coin - becoming too sensitive, emotional and being concerned with ones feelings doesn't seem to be appealing as well - something is not quite right about men becoming too emotional and dramatic.
So how can a man find his truth in that regard? It is very compelling to stick to the proposed masculine role - being in control of your feelings, holding yourself in check, thinking reasonably. At least in that position - we are being men - even if we DON'T FEEL MUCH, cant sense the needs of environment and have too much thinking. So it still feels like a better option, than losing yourself in the waters of feelings and emotions.
I want to share my insights on this topic. First of all a man cant find his realization in life, happiness and fulfillment, until he connects with his feelings - Opening up to them is the only way to bring healing to the deeper parts of the man!
To really heal themselves, men need to get in touch with their inner child - the one, that got hurt, cut in his expression, felt controlled, mistreated etc. Only by diving inside of those parts, reexperiencing the pain, accepting it and seeing clearly how exactly those parts still manifest in our life now - men can help those feelings TO GROW.
Continued in comments
2 weeks ago
. “you are a man, you have to be tough”
As men, we are expected to express the virtue of the male power. We are expected to advertise and fulfill the idea of masculinity and not be emotionally vulnerable.
But how does a man release unshed tears embedded in their heart, are men comfortable with expressing their grief ? Do men cry ?
February 3rd 2020, marked exactly two years after I lost a loved one. Within this period, I have been told many times be strong, I share how I have been able to stay strong in my series Drowning On February 3rd .
A very big thank you to my brother Morel Sedame Donou and the very good people of Lac Rose for allowing me into their space. To the man who offered to use his boat, thank you. .
To everyone who understands the grieving struggle, thank you for your kind words
More coming soon
Photo assist: @moreldonou
Words: @selkofiga’s reflection
Project: Drowning On February 3rd (II)
6 hours ago
~Look around at all the light in your life this weekend. ✌️
That's not toxic masculinity that's sweet.Toxic masculinity is: adherence to male gender roles that are physically or psychologically harmful such as limiting the emotions males may express without social censure,or expecting males to violate OSHA regulations to save their boss$.
"As a young girl, the idealization of finding a Prince Charming was a huge message sent, which can be harmful to girls who may not want a prince for various reasons. In this regard, my mom really pushed the idea of marrying a man who would make my life easier by raking in a steady income and providing for my future family. I wouldn’t say that these things are bad necessarily because I do value these things today, but to a less reliant extent - like finding a man who I can live a comfortable life with, one who can help me provide for our family, etc. This isn’t to say that she hasn’t also pushed the idea of being self-sufficient and being able to provide for myself, but I’m not sure if she believes that that would be enough for me because I am a woman." -- Anonymous, 22, Richmond, CA | (PC: @dmrsbrgr) #5050table#5050storiesproject#equalfuture#changethenarrative#genderequality#cocreate#stories#digitalstories#masculinity#femininity#listenfirst
4m4 minutes ago
You will be exiled as a failure of a man.
You don't get access to "special treatment" that boys your age get. You will be treated with the full contempt of misogyny, but you'll always be held to an impossible standard of masculinity that cis/het boys don't actually practice.
Please find me those men, who think beyond their social status, status quo believes and educated ideologies. It's all about sex, consumption, masculinity and superficiality. I need more in life than that. Fill me up with more than just your cum!
This started out 18 months ago as a book about masculinity. It coincided with the making of the film and they fed each other without being twins. And whilst the film was a dream baby, the book was a complete nightmare child. A couple of weeks ago I’d given up on it, couldn’t see how it would be of interest to anyone other than myself... maybe I needed to abandon it for it to arrive, because something clicked and I began writing furiously and lucidly I now feel it’s possibly the best thing I’ve ever written. Maybe because it was the hardest. It took me places I never imagined, it broke me and it changed me profoundly.
I’ve come to realise we’re fools if we believe we write books - we don’t. They use us like incubus, they are demons and we’re merely the portal they come through in their own damn good time.
Ultimately this isn’t a book about masculinity. It’s a book about humanity.
“The world and the human race are on the edge of a precipice and it may be too late to step back from the brink. If this book is about anything at all, it’s the challenge to take responsibility for ourselves, for how we manage our pain, for our impact on the world and its inhabitants, for our own decisions and experiences, to not be one of the herd but to be conscious, because whilst it may feel easier to just follow orders, as we have seen in the not too distant past and shall see as this book progresses…
That way lays Armageddon.”
Thank you especially to @mai_hua, @unger_xx, @charlie01taylor and @hopgoodstephen for your support and encouragement #maihua#masculinity#lestroisluxembourg#les3luxembourg#meetingswithremarkablemen#mensgroup#jerryhyde#maihuablog#seymourprojects#empathyforthedevil
9 hours ago
Tingari Cycle painted by Walter Jangala Brown. This painting depicts a portion of the Tingari Cycle, a very important collection of Dreaming narratives from the Western Desert Region and incorporates three major Dreaming tracks from the Gibson and Great Sandy Deserts. The Cycle tells the story of a group of ancient ancestors, the Tingari, who travel across the country, taking different forms, some human, some animal. Humans were typically initiated men accompanied by punyunyu, (uninitiated men). Brown’s extraordinary works will feature in Hearth Galleries’ forthcoming exhibition Strong Men Young Warriors, which starts on the 8th March, Healesville. Book now for our launch event, A Conversation about Manhood, with Glenn Loughrey, Ralph Hume, Richard Young and Robert Young. 2pm Sunday 8th March. Bookings essential, call Chris 0423 902 934.
8m8 minutes ago
There is an ineffable freedom in being able to flawlessly flow from femininity to masculinity and back, seemingly so easily and, by the gods, women have cracked the code. https://twitter.com/TheLotaChukwu/status/1231171832629297152 …
7m7 minutes ago
Why does Google surveil feminists by discriminating toxic masculinity?
Ever wondered why having s€x after a fight feels so damn good? One moment you are about to get evicted from your own house, next moment...you wanna move in together.
What IS that? How does anger turn into passion from one moment to the next?
Because...they are the same thing. Or a better way to put it: they are two sides of the same coin. Passion and anger have more in common then we might think. Both are ultimately a play between dominance and submission. My first experience with shibari (bondage) was one of the most arousing (yet respectful) interactions I ever had. The s€xual charge created by extrapolating two ends of the spectrum. Ultimate masculinity meets ultimate femininity. Rawr 🦁
So when we fight, something very similar happens. As we move further away from each other the interaction gets extremely polarized. Similar to moving two magnets away from each other until the s€xual charge between the two becomes “magnetizing”. And then BOOM! From explosion to implosion...anger to passion. 🔥🔥🔥
The tricky part is though that sometimes we get addicted to that ‘high’ of supercharged make-up s€x and therefore ALSO to the drama that we now need to create that. Sounds familiar?
There are better ways to have mind blowing s€x and the key is to keep your connection polarized in a healthy, playful way. Think of role play for example, where you can allow yourself to embody certain aspects of yourself that usually remain hidden. Since it’s just ‘play’ there is less resistance to give expression to these hidden parts of ourselves..including our shadow. For men that often means tapping into their primal, dominant nature.
Try it out. Oh and don’t worry. It’s not toxic masculinity. Just...MASCULINITY. 🙏
2 weeks ago
These words from the one and only @iceman_hof speaks to the primacy of love in a man's embodied expression.
If you know Wim's story and how he became the ice man then you will understand that underlying his incredible breathing methods and superhuman abilities are his deep love for life and humanity.
And we believe that to embody a healthy and balanced love, a man must evolve beyond the flimsy psychological structures of boyhood into the solid foundations of manhood.
Men who have moved beyond boy psychology to embody man psychology draw upon the power of love birthed from their heart, balanced by their wisdom, and express it in all areas of their life.
These men are confident in who they are so they're able to be soft with women and men alike while still maintaining their strength of presence. And this softness doesn't mean that they're pushovers.
Men who are guided by love are focused on what really matters and are not swayed by flattery or sentimentality, they are capable of decisive and even brutal action to protect themselves and others from harm.
Psychologically mature men are also not blaming others for their shortcomings or making excuses for their shadow, they are honest with themselves about their character flaws and continually grind them away so that they may become better men.
Whereas boys blame others for what's wrong in their life, men take responsibility for doing and Being whatever is needed to make things right. And they're not only making things right in their own life, they're also supporting others by showing up in their families and communities.
Men who are rooted in love have cultivated a relationship to their inner Sacred, embrace their primal nature and draw strength from their commitments. They aren't waiting around for permission or approval from others to actualize their heart's vision.
Moving forward step-by-step they remain generative in the process of achieving their goals, lifting others with their love rather than depleting others as is evident in those still bound to boy psychology.
Yet the truth remains that we all started out as boys and if we are now men who find ourselves expressing boy 👇
I’d never give up being a Trans man for anything tbfh.
There’s so much that comes with being us that our cisgender (het) counterparts don’t have and know.
Being part of men who were allowed to brew outside of toxic and enforced masculinity is honestly the BEST.
11 hours ago
Stone in my hands, ‘Merican flag on my back, and metal on the speakers. How more epic can Friday morning get, than tearing shit up with the homie @jakethemurphy. Get you some this weekend! #stonedstonelifting
You think no one notices that the only type of masculinity feminists ever talk about is "toxic masculinity"?
Sometimes prominent feminists forget to lie for positive PR & publicly admit they think all masculinity is toxic. That's what feminism is about.
1 week ago
I have been questioning what I bring to the table…
This is the reality of business, and everyday its a roller coaster ride.
As I continue to speak to players that are WAAAAY ahead of me in business and looking to connect… I get excited, BUT my ego always tells me that I am really more on the brink of being an imposter rather than a leader.
Anyone else feel this way at times?
Although my higher self knows what is truly possible…
So why is this YO YO concept a struggle to myself and so many “leaders” and how do you surrender to judgement, uncertainty, and fear of your strengths…
Is it wanting to be significant?
Is it wanting to lead from the front?
Is it wanting to be acknowledged and validated?
I think it has been all of the above for me.
This is a normal human need and I know that it has been something I have sought for a good portion of my life.
As I continue on my journey and surrender to what is possible, I am noticing that leadership can also come from behind.
It can be a way to push others in ways that may be unseen, and not acknowledged but in truth it gives others strength when you can lead from within, and show others that there is more to life when you can contribute in meaningful ways.
I choose to let go, and live in my higher self.
My higher self is abundant and leads with love.
I’m certain that if we all choose to let go, beautiful blessing await us all. .
"I have walked among stones, lifted by giants and shattered by dragons. I have broken the jaws of wolves, and hewed the heads of leviathans. With my brothers I have beat down mountains, and buried oceans. We have slain serpents, and slaughtered behemoths. By my hand I have raised temples and destroyed empires. I was there when Odin speared himself to the tree. I saw Tyr place his hand in the mouth of Fenris. I have spoken with Jormungandur, and fought with mighty Thor. I slew vile Grendel and cut down his mother. I am Beowulf. Look upon my deeds ye mighty, and tremble." -Corban Hooper
This is my take on the ancient poem of Beowulf.
Yesterday, my firm did some crisis support at a local ED after a particularly horrible incident and a hard winter.
The first thing I said was, "I know this is hard and it's okay to say it's hard."
It's the first time they'd heard that.
Toxic masculinity is killing healthcare.
A fiercely observational of modern masculinity and human frailty, starring comedic legends Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Will Ferrell. Catch the advance screening of #DownhillMovie Tuesday, 3 March in the Camelot Outdoor Cinema. Tix: http://bit.ly/36XLLlR pic.twitter.com/gLqSvI07TA