Why is there so much social stigma around loneliness? Like it’s something to pity, fix, or avoid at all costs? I think we’ve been programmed to think that lonely = personal problems, unlucky with love, and neediness. It’s not true. You can be owning your solo life, but still feel waves of loneliness. This is valid and normal.
I’m happy, confident, and completely whole, just as I am. I love my own company and my independence but sometimes I get hit with it. Not because I’m longing for a partner, *waiting* for the day they find me. no no. Truthfully, that is the last of my concerns at the moment. It’s just a normal emotional response. Our brains are hardwired for connection. Loneliness is my body telling me i’m craving authentic meaningful interaction. It’s nothing to be ashamed about, or to avoid. Just sit with it and let it pass. Sometimes I get a good cry out, sometimes I text my parents and ask them to have a movie night. I’ll cuddle Chloe and sleep at their house. Sometimes I make tea and have a friend over to talk (always making sure they have the emotional capacity to listen to me). It’s okay to ask for what you need. Loneliness is not a weakness, character flaw, or something to ignore. We have to recognize that.
The other day I talked with a friend, told her how I have been feeling lately, and she asked “What kind of response would be helpful to you?” and I said..”Nothing. I just want to be heard.” I really don’t need advice, ways to “fix” it, or suggestions on how to avoid it. I don’t want sympathy or “Oh just enjoy this time of your life you’re lucky you’re single.” “your time will come, he’s out there” type responses. I just want to be heard. A “For sure, totally know what you mean.” is cool. hold space and listen. That is more than enough. #bucknakedkitchen