It’s pretty difficult to live an inspired life when we’re so busy shitting all over ourselves.
Whoever told you that criticism was constructive was a liar. A big, stinking liar.
Because the thing is, criticism erodes safety. It disconnects us from ourselves and others. It has ZERO transformational value.
Talking shit to yourself about yourself will not get you to the places you want to go.
Self-approval, being honest, constructively looking at the places where we have room for improvement without dragging ourselves through nasty put downs and character slamming, being generous...all of these things are waaaaaay more effective in creating safety within your own internal experience.
It starts by noticing the things you DO like about yourself. The things you appreciate. The things you’re grateful for.
You’re worthy of having a life that feels good to be in, and it starts with the way you treat and talk to yourself.
Now, I will say, a lot of the time we learned this self-shaming behaviour from the world around us.
When we’ve been emotionally manipulated, put down, shamed, bullied, guilted, or any other form of toxic relating- we will pick up self-criticism real fast.
We think if we internally berate and turn hyper critical on ourselves we can prevent making mistakes, the mistakes that cost us the approval, attention and belonging with others.
But, this is a failing strategy. Being mean to you doesn’t prevent mistakes, nor does it draw a bubble of belonging around you.
It just dissociates you from you, which if we want to really belong, we have to feel that within ourselves AND with others.
To support ya’ll in this new self-approving quest for this new fancy decade, @jamie.n.rea and I made a podcast episode for you that dropped this morning, and at the end we share our 12 Dates of Gratitude Challenge. You gotta listen to the end to hear about it AND head to the show notes to get in on it.
If you want more depth and support navigating the roots of the criticism... emotional manipulation (aka gaslighting, Guilt-trips, walking on eggshells, shaming etc), get in on the webinar. Deets in bio!
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💛 this life
💛 this city
A day can start with the feeling of total and unconditional love and freedom, then warmth of a friends meeting, and again, and again, showing to someone your favourite places, being showed by someone places only they can get to, lots of 💖💚💖, lots of laughter, cocktails, impossible acquaintance, job offer in a pub, life lessons, lots of 💖💚💖 again. Someone's ordering you a "love potion" because you don't know what's your cocktail's called. Dublin secret stories.
Where else in the world you can get all this?
I have so much love in me now and Dublin loves me back.
"If I ever leave you, you know you're in my heart, forever ❤️"