If there was trauma in your first parental relationships, you will continue those patterns into adulthood.
If you were not modeled emotional maturity, clear communication + conflict resolution, + vulnerability in these relationships how would you know how to have a healthy relationship?
Trauma bonds become the result.
Trauma bonds are relationships where we unconsciously re-enact our past. The mind and body seek the familiar. That familiar will feel like instant chemistry, sexual attraction, or the cultures favorite: “sweeping someone off their feet.” Within trauma bonds we are living a childhood fantasy where someone can fix, save, or rescue us.
If we just “love” them enough, we will be chosen.
If we just betray ourselves enough, we won’t be abandoned.
All signs of a wounded attachment in childhood.
Our partners are not here to save us. Or complete us. They are not an escape route. They are not responsible for our happiness. That’s our work.
My own relationship began as a trauma bond.
And through the process of doing the work together, I am the first to say that if you come from chaos or unpredictability, they will feel “boring.” We still laugh about this.
When you only know chaos or betrayal, it takes adjustments to learn authentic love. It takes work to view the person you love triggering you and see where that comes from in YOU. Core wounding.
Authentic love is a space of pure acceptance. A space to grow and evolve. A space to show up with your shadow and consciously create life on your own terms #selfhealers
I hear so many people say “when is the love of my life going to show up?!” My response: “they already have, look within yourself.” When you learn to love and accept yourself, you won’t rely on another person to do so. Sure, your partner can be a loving space but they cannot be the soul reason for your love or happiness. Because what happens when they leave? So does your love and happiness.
I think the one of the main things that I’ve learned over the years is feeling safe. If you don’t feel safe with your partner. If they don’t feel like home. It’s likely they aren’t the best fit for you.
Which stages have you experienced?
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Sending you infinite love and healing! 🙌♥️
Yoga is known to unite the mind, body and soul. Tantra takes this a step further in believing that it is all equally Divine, all One, therefore all is already united. We aren't attempting to reach higher states outside ourselves or a God we can't touch, but awakening within our own being what is already there.
Tantra isn't sex, although that's a part of it because sex is of course a part of this life, it is an ancient study of energy and philosophy of living this human experience to the fullest. It's working with the potential of the energy moving through and around us, it's completely living in this moment and embracing all the delicious gifts it contains. It's becoming the master of your reality. It's falling so deeply in love with this energy moving through you, that everyone and everything becomes the Beloved and your very existence the greatest Love story that could ever be. 🌹
✨ Get Addicted To The Feeling Of Being Happy Alone ... Love Yourself First ✨
Don’t bring others into your madness looking for them to fix it, that’s not their weight to bare.⠀
That’s yours and yours alone 💕
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Feelings of shame and guilt can consume us when recovering from trauma.
These deep seated emotions can cause us to forget about compassion towards our inner child.
Having self- compassion, love and forgiveness can set us free from the belief that the abuse we received was our fault.