Happy (belated) 18th bday to a wonderful friend/grandma/cookiedealer/pun-maker :)))🥳
2 days ago
A year ago today...
June 23rd, 2018 was the worst day of my life. I woke up that morning to a phone call from our vet. The results were in from Bernie’s ultrasound and the news was more devastating than I ever could have imagined. “I couldn’t find it. We’ve looked it over multiple times and called in a specialist and his right kidney just isn’t there... and his left kidney is deformed. It’s something called Congential Renal Dysplasia and it’s genetic”. I looked over at the 11 month old puppy laying next to me and held back tears. This dog had been my life line and my absolute best friend over that first year with him. His little life flashed before my eyes when I asked the next question. “How long does he have?” I was met with silence, and then... “I don’t know.”
With any such news comes an incredible amount of disbelief. A genuine “this can’t be happening”... and then anger... and then doubt- something I still experience daily. I thought I would have this dog for a lifetime, and in some ways, I still do, but if there’s one thing this has taught me, it’s to appreciate every day, every moment, every breath.
A year ago today, I didn’t know where I’d be today, where Bernie would be today if at all. So today, I’m thankful for every breath Bernie still takes, for the friends I’ve met through this all who have been rocks for me, for the adventures me and Bernie have gone on, and for the new pack me and Bernie have acquired. I’m thankful for days running agility with Bernie, for nights snuggled close to him. I’m thankful for the passion this has sparked in me for dog genetics and nutrition (the RAW diet friends... it’s the way to go!). I’m thankful for holistic vets and that every frustrating symptom that has surfaced has had a relatively quick fix. Most of all, I’m thankful for Bernie and the beautiful, hilarious dog that he is. I’m thankful that he’s mine, no matter how long I get to hold him. I don’t know where we’ll be a year from today, but I’m incredibly thankful for where we are today.
Goodbye my sweet, handsome funny little boy. Words cannot express our sadness. You were our best pal, our favorite clown, my heart. You brought so much joy to our lives. We will love you forever. #bernie