I had so many recovery wins this weekend! I ate fast food for lunch, went to restaurants for dinner on saturday and sunday AND ordered pasta both times (which is one of my biggest fear foods), and I wore jeans which I usually avoid wearing at all costs! My eating disorder voice was so loud but I fought it every time it told me to order off the kids menu or not eat at all. This weekend I ordered what I, Maddy, truly wanted. Not what my eating disorder wanted/thought was safer. This is my last week of IOP... I’m being discharged on Friday and I don’t have words to describe how nervous I am. I have so many fears for going back to college in January. Am I going to be able to follow my meal plan? Are my college friends going to think I’m fat now? Will people judge me when I go out to eat? How am I going to be able to hold myself accountable? I have sooo many worries, but at the same time, I’ve grown so much since May and I know that I’m very capable of using the skills I’ve learned over the course of my treatments. I’m going to go back to school and I’m going to still have struggles and urges to listen to my eating disorder, but I’m going to continue listening to my healthy self and engaging in recovery-minded behaviors, despite the struggles and urges. I can say undoubtedly that I feel so much more like myself now that I’m weight restored, eating the food my body needs, and practicing healthy coping skills. I’m alive again.👌🏼
Don't settle for living life with an eating disorder. Or settle for a middle ground between recovery and struggling - you deserve to live a life in full recovery ❤️ Keep going & fighting for what you deserve.
Merhaba arkadaşlar 🕊️
Nasılsınız? Valla şu sıralar hiç ama hiç okuyamıyorum Readin Slump dedikleri şeysinden mi oldum ne oldu anlamadım gitti 😂 #maksimgorki#ana kitabı son 200 sayfa kaldı bir haftadır elimde. Büyük ihtimalle, bir yandan dersler, yemek, temizlik, spor derken yetişemiyorum. Erkenden uykum geliyor🤦🏻♀️ Kasvetli hava çöktü üstüme.. 😒Sayfama bile giremiyorum bazen içimden hiç Gelmiyor . Tv zaten izlemiyorum 🤷♂️. Help please.
Geçer mi bu durum a dostlar 🤦🏻♀️😁
ᴸᵒᵛⁱⁿ’ ᵐʸ ᶠⁱᵍᵘʳᵉ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ‘ᵃʰ ʸᵉᵃʰ’.
ᵀᵃᵏᵉ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵐʸ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ⁻ᵘᵖ 'ᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᴵ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʷʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳ ⁱᵗ
ᴿᵘᵇ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵃˡˡ ʸᵒᵘʳ ʷᵒʳᵈˢ, ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵍⁱᵛᵉ ᵃ, "ᵘʰ", ᴵ'ᵐ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ⁱᵗ
For 11 years I fought with anorexia & body dysmorphia in and out of hospital, and was told it was going to kill me.
My body recovered last year, but my mind started recovery today.
I’ve spoken about anorexia recovery for a long time, and I’ve been ‘recovered’ for some time now.
Recovered as in ‘your body isn’t trying to close in on itself. You’re at a healthy weight. We don’t fear for your life, anymore’.
But recovery in my mind was a different matter all together.
People often believe that ‘recovery’ means ‘your body isn’t trying to close in on itself. You’re at a healthy weight. We don’t fear for your life, anymore.’
But recovery is so much deeper than that, the physical side is by far the easiest.
I’ve been ‘healthy’ for just under a year now, but I still posted the photos I liked based on how frail I looked.
I still had breakdowns several times a day if my clothing felt tight, and had to have my mum or sister dress me on several occasions.
I still refused to eat more than a certain number of calories or touch certain types of food.
My body was healthy, but my mind was killing itself daily.
I’ve done nothing but try and spread messages of self love and kindness for the past 4 years. But as soon as I got off stage or turned the camera off I’d rip at my body, vomit up what I had eaten, & cry for hours because of how deeply I hated it.
Hypocrisy doesn’t listen to fear.
For the first time in my life, I now post the photos I look happiest in instead of the skinniest.
I thank God daily for giving me a functioning body to work and play instead of praying at night to be a different person.
I eat everything I want.... and keep it down.
I can look at myself in the mirror, and see who I am, and what I can do.
I post photos that still kind of scare the living heck of Jesus out of me.
Because I’ve got a body, and it’s mine, and I’m learning to love it for all that it is.
Anorexia, you’re cancelled.