Many complex trauma survivors have been abused in toxic families and/or had relationships with toxic abusive people and have children with them.
We need self compassion for how we adapted and coped with the abuse, because we were/are enduring trauma that should never have been inflicted on us.
At some point, we need to look at how the abuser is keeping us locked in that trauma and what we can do to change.
It takes time and we need patience with ourselves, but try to keep moving towards removing toxicity and not engagjng with it, or trying to 'keep the peace'. There is no 'keeping the peace with toxic people'. They are simply manipulating us to control us.
We must know toxic people are not our responsibility to save or fix.
And we must know - that family is meant to be about love, safety, trust, care and respect.
We deserve healthy families and need strong boundaries from those who are not healthy, who continue to cause harm, who negatively impact our lives and don't show us respect, care and dignity.
And in doing this we increase our self worth and positivity impact our well-being. .
~ Lilly Hope Lucario 💜💜💜
#lillyhopelucario #healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd I
1 day ago
Amber Heard's interior designer and self-described friend Laura Divenere says she never saw any signs of abuse like swelling, redness, or bruises on Amber during the time the alleged abuse by Johnny Depp occurred: “I worked with Amber, retrieved packages for her, rode elevators with her, and saw her up close and in person. On none of those days immediately following the abuse claims did I observe any signs of physical abuse or injury..." Swipe up in Stories & Legal Matters Highlights for more from Laura.
Y de repente en el consultorio cuando estaba escuchando la consecuencia que tuvo en una chica ciertos comportamientos de una relación sumamente toxica, se me vino esto.
Toma nota de esto: para que algo pueda perdonarse debe realizarse un acto que tenga el mismo o mayor peso que eso que estamos perdonando.
Sí, es algo mucho más que arrojar la palabra “perdón” por el solo hecho de no tolerar la reacción del otro frente a un acto nuestro.
Si, tenes que vencer tus ganas de querer volver a estar bien y perdonar cualquier cosa con tal de volver a sentirte cómoda.
Y como la semana pasada fueron muchos los casos que escuche de abusos, y sé que estos muchas veces en periodos críticos de desarrollo producen muchas patologías en el comportamiento alimentario, se viene la semana del abuso narcisista.
Si vas a arrepentirte de algo y pedir disculpas al respecto: se consciente de lo que estas estableciendo.
Quizás no sea sobre el hecho en si que te estés disculpando, puede que lo que te haya motivado es lo que haya quedado sin resolver y haga que nuevamente te equivoques.
Pero presta atención, aclarar lo que te impulsa al acto es fundamental para el entendimiento y modificación de la conducta.
Pedir disculpas al aire es querer manipular el resultado incomodo de lo que hiciste.
Bancate la consecuencia, sostene el cambio que la relación necesita. A veces lo más difícil y doloroso es lo que hay que hacer.
Lo que sucede conviene, siempre.
21 hours ago
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You may not see it now. You may be in a lot of pain. But, eventually, that pain will fade. Someday, you'll look back at the person that broke your heart and laugh because you'll be in a better place.
My books about relationships, breakups and moving on are in the link in my bio.
2 days ago
Forgive yourself. You saw the best in them and they didn't turn out to be you expected them to be.
My EBOOKS and BUNDLES are available through the link in my bio.
#Repost from @loveisrespectofficial:
Don’t justify abusive or controlling behaviors from a significant other (or anyone!) because they experienced child abuse or trauma earlier in life. Abuse is not something you deserve to go through, and your partner’s past does not justify their current choice to hurt you. ⠀
Read more on our blog: www.loveisrespect.org/content/childhood-trauma-abusive-behavior⠀
If you are experiencing abuse in your relationship, you can reach out to one of our peer Advocates by phone (1-866-331-9474), text LOVEIS to 22522, or chat online. There is support available for you 24/7/365.⠀
“In order to let go of your past, first you have to get closer to it”. You can run from it...
You can distract yourself from it...
You can push it down deep... None of these solutions are a long term fix.
You need to find the courage to look deep within yourself no matter how scary or painful it is before you can start to move forwards to create a healthy happy life.
What are your coping strategies?
Are they working for you on a long term basis? 🙏🏻
Most people don’t need to tear other people down to make themselves feel better. The way narcissistic individuals have learned to feel better about themselves is by tearing other people down, it makes them feel powerful. They have a chronic emptiness and insecurity that they are always looking to fill. All of us have issues. None of us are perfect, but we don’t need to crush other people to make ourselves feel better. Unfortunately this is how they live. This is why it’s imperative that you will take care of yourself. There is nothing you could do about them. You can’t change them.......